One Week in PKU Muhammadiyah Gamping Hospital : A Chapter of Gratitude

(The picture was taken this evening from the Student Lounge of PKU Muhammadiyah Gamping Hospital area where some wards, units, and musholla, i.e. the place to pray, can be seen)

    I have spent a week as an internship PharmD student at PKU Muhammadiyah Gamping Hospital. I have many amazing things to share from these past few days, and I don't even know where to start. I cannot lie that these seven days were exhausting: many assignments to finish, pages of books and articles to understand, and slides to read. Today is the weekend, and I just arrived at my hostel room at 9 pm. I wrote this note by 10.30 pm. I was too tired, and about to go to bed, yet many things disturbed my mind and forced me to be 'popped' in the form of paragraphs. First, thank Allah for putting me where I am right now, along with my parent's unstoppable prayers. I remember that several months ago, I told my mom, "Please pray for me so I can get the chance to have an internship in that hospital". Our department arranged for the students to have their clinical pharmacy stages in several hospitals, and I had just two hospitals of choice in mind alhamdulillah, I got PKU Gamping, which is actually one of them. 

ABOUT SINCERITY

    According to the speakers in our orientation, PKU Gamping Muhammadiyah Hospital is one of the hospitals owned by the Muhammadiyah Central Board. Muhammadiyah itself is one of the largestits Islamic organizations in Indonesia with a lot of contributions to Indonesia, especially in the education, economy, and humanitarian fields. This organization was established in 1912, and their 111 years of existence never fail to amaze me. It all started in a small neighbourhood in Yogyakarta, a school for the locals was created, and nowadays, Muhammadiyah doesn't only own a school, but hundreds of them spread all over Indonesia and the world, not to mention the universities, orphanages, hospitals, clinics, mosques. This organization came with the intention of building a true Muslim community through the sincere contributions of the Muslims themselves. The keyword is 'sincere'. The amazing sincerity of these Muhammadiyah people makes this organization as big as now. They give contributions in the form of anything; money, knowledge, skills, anything they have without any second thought to build this organization. I just realized how much this sincerity can affect someone's life and society.  PKU Muhammadiyah Hospitals are true pieces of evidence of the power of sincerity. 

    I remember on the second day of orientation, Apt. Irma Rusdiana, the head of the pharmacy department in PKU Muhammadiyah Gamping Hospital, told us a meaningful sentence, "you can deceit nor fool nor break, the sincere people".  That sentence really represent how PKU was established and developed. PKU is an abbreviation for Penolong Kesengsaraan Umat or The Helpers of People's Suffering. It has a long history, starting from the 1920s. PKU was one of the divisions of Muhammadiyah, led by K.H. Sudja (his name is immortalized as a building in my university, that building is where the library and classes of medical faculty are mostly located). KH Sudja' suggested that Muhammadiyah establish an orphanage and a hospital to help the natives who did not receive health facilities equivalent to colonialists at that time. It was built to help people to get one of the crucial needs as human being: adequate healthcare access. Tonight I got a little time to read the purpose of PKU;  "Hajatnya P.K.O itu akan menolong kesengsaraan dengan memakai azas agama Islam kepada segala orang tidak membelah bangsa dan agamanya", which can be translated as "P.K.O's wish is to help the suffering by applying principle the religion of Islam to all people does not divide their race and religion". The first PKU hospital was built in 1923 near the famous Malioboro street. Nowadays, there are a lot of PKU hospitals around Indonesia with rapid progress and development in healthcare services. These hospitals are built from hopes, persistence, hard work, and, again, sincere contributions of people whose names might never appear on television or in newspapers. These people have nothing much to offer but sincerity which no amount of money in the world can buy.

    PKU and the workers I met there this week taught me a lot about how the universe fell in love with the sincere with heart. Some workers might not have that much salary, but Allah somehow opens many doors for them so their families can live well and their kids can study in prestigious schools and universities. "Have faith that Allah is the one who will take care of the sustenance of the people who helped his religion", "Feel ashamed of yourself to Allah when you just spend this life trying to chase the money, which is only a small part of this world,  work for Allah, the money chase you",  those are more words of Mrs Irma that haunts my mind lately.  While I was staring at some workers this evening as they walked to the hospital mosques, I had no idea what their jobs were; they could be doctors, nurses, pharmacists, laboratory workers, technicians, engineers, janitors, laundry workers, or anything. But I assumed that thousands of angels were praying for them in every step they took. May Allah bless them and their family with happiness in the world and hereafter. I felt insecure, can I be as sincere as them when this just one week already made a lot of complaints and rude words came from my mouth?.

ABOUT THIS SHORT LIFE

    I spent these three days doing assignments, and one required me to open patients' medical records to evaluate their medication profiles. Yesterday was my first time seeing a medical record with the sentence, " The patient was declared dead at ....." and my heart just dropped. Perhaps because I'm a sensitive person, I suddenly felt unexplainable sadness and emptiness. Then, more and more medical records of patients who passed away that I read, with various diseases, ages, backgrounds, and ethnicities. Today, I've checked hundreds of them. Every time my eyes caught the "dead" words, I felt that my mind took a pause to think about death. This short time that we have in the world can be stopped at any time. What will we bring back to our 'origin' when that time comes? What kind of person we will be remembered as? In what way will we return? Can I return in a peaceful way and reach heaven effortlessly. Death is indeed the best reminder. Perhaps some people choose to work in the hospital as this place makes us realise that all of these things we've been working so hard to reach in this world will fade. We will leave them behind, and nothing can we bring except our good deeds.

    Those medical records also taught me to appreciate life more. To cherish everything, everyone, and every time. We never know when will be our last time to interact with someone. In this short life, we must try our best to enjoy the moment and fill the remaining days with happiness, gratitude, and forgiveness. Let only good things that surround us mentally and physically. I tried to forgive everything and everyone that broke me in the past, letting go of those waves of anger and intentions to revenge. They will just ruin the beauty and peace of this life. They will just drain me more and more. I do not want such kind of life; when it is my time to 'come back', I can have a peaceful departure.

    The fact that we don't live forever encourages me to express my affection to those I love. Tell them about my days, how much I love them, and how they were right about things. Ask them about their days, what makes them happy, and how their life goes on so far. I cannot wait to go home daily to open my phone and send short messages to my family and friends. As their replies appear on my screen, I feel a combination of happiness and relief that burst in me that I did not feel much before, I called it gratitude. 

ABOUT CONTINOUS LEARNING AND IMPROVEMENT

    I feel increasingly grateful that Allah allowed me to have deep thoughts about these things in life, which seems simple, but it took me years to learn and slowly understand the concept. Sometimes, I feel insecure when comparing my progress with my friends, colleagues, or anyone I know. My progress seems so slow and lame. So let me recall again the day of my thesis seminar for my bachelor's degree when my supervisor told me, "Sometimes our process seems so slow because Allah knows that we need the lessons that disguise in that process". Allah knows what we need. There must be good reasons for everything that happens. 

    Several days ago, I was thinking about how amazing I would be if I chose another major that would allow me to explore the world, go abroad, and learn about social issues instead of staying in hospitals with such pressure accompanied by a high risk of infections.  I was even daydreaming about how peaceful my life would be if only I took a religious study somewhere in the Middle East, how easy it would be for me to be close to God and spread Islam's beauty through my words and influences. I was cursing myself.  Yet God decided on this path for me, and I know it will eventually lead towards my old dreams. And by God's will, I'll get His blessings through this path and my future profession as a pharmacist. Perhaps my ways to get closer to him or this kind of thought about life cannot be found by me through the plans for the future which I have made.

    May Allah provide me with a more profound and better understanding of everything and allow me to learn more about pharmaceutical knowledge and gazillions of precious life lessons in this hospital pharmacy internship stage (and other stages of PharmD internship). Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah for everything, and hopefully, more chapters of gratitude will fill this simple blog :).

Written in Yogyakarta, 9-10 December 2023.

With a messed up mind haunted by assignments, financial issues, education, the future, and a lot of internal conflicts that I'm trying to clean up.